Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

THE STRANGER (1987)



by Kris Gilpin

No, this ain’t the classic Albert Camus story of alienation, but -- judging by the video box art -- a suspenser posing as a horror flick. Made a year or two ago by Columbia, it received sparse (if any) theatrical distribution. Bonnie Bedelia stars as an amnesia victim under the care of shrink Peter Riegert. She can remember some creeps blowing a family away in a house in which she was hiding; she also recalls them chasing her and shooting at her before she got in her car and crashed it. Slowly she remembers a lover and something about a small aircraft company, as she makes occasional eyes with Riegert. The doc, meanwhile, is a gambler who owes $62,000 to a Las Vegas casino (they establish the city with a cheap $5 Spectra Star lens effect). At one point, the head Bad Guy approaches Riegert and offers to cover his debt if he helps them get to Bonnie (huh?!), but since they don’t follow up on their threat, nothing comes of it. There are several other moments of stupidity here which, I imagine, is what kept it out of most theaters, such as when the investigating cop (played by Barry Primus) wants to put Bonnie’s face in the papers under the headline “Does anyone know this woman?” (Gee, maybe the killers will tell them!). One baddie, played by David Spielberg, kills the super-shrink flown into town to handle the woman’s case, then proceeds to impersonate him -- extremely easily, I might add. But the biggest crock is when (note: there’s a spoiler coming, so skip this line if you don’t want a surprise in the film ruined for you) the co-cop is revealed to be "one of them." Oh, really? When did this happen, before he entered the force, or did he infiltrate his way in? Bedelia flashes a breast in her black-&-white remembrance/flashback scenes, which was a bit of a thrill for me as I’ve always thought she was a super-cutie. Riegert eventually sends her to the home of a nurse/friend to be treated as an outpatient, and when Spielberg breaks in one night and you think something’s finally going to happen -- nothing happens. Granted, the twist of the slaughtered family that no one can trace is an interesting and original (well, to me anyway) red herring, but it’s not enough to justify a rental of THE STRANGER. With no real suspense, this one’s only a mild mystery.

[Originally published in Temple of Schlock #13, November 1988]

Monday, December 28, 2009

DEMON RAGE (1982)


DEMON RAGE
(also known as DARK EYES, SATAN'S MISTRESS and FURY OF THE SUCCUBUS)


by Keith Hall, Jr.

Super-voluptuous Lana Wood plays a housewife with a glamorous beachfront house and a husband who has a penchant for taking cold swims in the ocean, but doesn’t make love to her. This has been going on for a couple of years, so Lana is understandably quite put out, and pent up. Help arrives from the beyond…and in a big way. Soon the nubile Lana is getting laid every ten minutes by an invisible ghost: in her bed, in her shower, sometimes even under the nose of her husband. We get many cutaways to the waves breaking on the shore as Lana moans in ecstasy.

Lana soon moves into another room in her house so as to have more privacy with her sexual spirit, who eventually becomes visible and turns out to be Kabir Bedi from OCTOPUSSY. But as if these cosmic couplings weren’t enough, more strange things occur. The other members of the family start bleeding for no reason, meeting strangers who claim to be Satan’s helpers, having weird dreams, noticing their eyes beginning to glow, and experiencing visions. With all these events taking place, Lana can’t tell if she’s cumming - I mean coming - or going.

Lana’s psychic friend (Britt Ekland) gets into the (sex) act when she senses dark forces at work. Satan’s CIA tries to warn her off by giving her a very hot hot tub and then decapitating her boozer husband (Don Galloway), but with the counsel of priest John Carradine, she pursues the case.

It seems our ravishing wraith is a soul who can’t decide whether he wants to go to Heaven or Hell. Satan is using Lana as bait to lure him to the hot place, although things seem pretty hot between the two of them up here. In the end, Bedi elects to go to Hell and the forces of evil are defeated. Or are they?

Miss Ekland receives top billing but only appears in only about four short scenes, and Carradine has just one. It is really Miss Wood who carries the film on her shoulders, and other places! I hope Mr. Bedi (with emphasis on BED) wasn’t paid by the word, since he never said anything. However, if Miss Wood was paid by the moan, she could probably retire by now. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen her around lately…

[Originally published in Temple of Schlock #10, August 1988]

Sunday, December 27, 2009

One-Sheet of the Week: THE DEVIL HAS 7 FACES (1975)


IL DIAVOLO A SETTE FACCE (1971)

U.S. release beginning in 1975 as THE DEVIL HAS 7 FACES

Saturday, December 26, 2009

The return of Kris Gilpin's Movie Crossword Puzzles



Veteran fanzine writer Kris Gilpin's "Movie Crossword Puzzle" never really caught on as a weekly feature here at the Temple, mostly because of the clumsy printout presentation we chose for them, but we're very happy to report that they've become a big hit over at the Best Crosswords website. Way to go, Kris! A new puzzle just went up today, and you'll be able to find that one and 14 others waiting for you here. Good luck, movie fans!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Endangered List (Case File #56)



SANTA'S CHRISTMAS CIRCUS (1966)

Starring
Frank Wizarde (Whizzo the Clown)
John Bilyeu (Santa Claus)

Directed by
Frank Wizarde

Produced by
Byers Jordan

Music by
Harry Jenks

color
Running time:60 minutes
Gold Star Productions / Mercury Productions

For more info, check out Kiddiematinee.com



Tuesday, December 22, 2009

“Ex-Seattleite filmed ‘Santa and 3 Bears’”



“Ex-Seattleite filmed ‘Santa and 3 Bears’”
By John Hartl

Yet another filmmaker who is convinced that family movies are making a comeback is Tony Benedict, who wrote, produced and directed the new children’s cartoon, “Santa and the Three Bears.”

And Benedict has the statistics to prove that they can be successful. “Santa,” which will play matinees only tomorrow and Sunday at the Fox Cinema Crossroads, United Artists Cinema 150 and Renton Cinema One, has already earned back its costs in a very short time -- and every one of the 110 prints of the film is booked through the end of next year.

“It’s a popular film because kids really enjoy it,” said Benedict, who is in Seattle to promote the picture. “It’s the kind of film I would like to have seen when I was a kid.” Benedict, 33, once lived in Seattle and attended O’Dea High School.

“One theater manager in Los Angeles told me: ‘I know it’s a good picture, because the kids aren’t out here buying popcorn.’”

Benedict got the idea for “Santa and the Three Bears” from the fact that bears usually hibernate during the winter. A couple of Yellowstone cubs don’t go into hibernation in the film and a forest ranger tells them about Christmas.

They go home to tell their mother about the holiday, and she doesn’t believe them.

“The film has high quality animation, yet I made it for about $200,000. It costs Disney 20 times that much to do the same thing, and I can do it faster,” said Benedict.

Benedict is a former animator for the Disney studios, where he worked on “Sleeping Beauty.” He also worked on Mr. Magoo cartoons and Huckleberry Hound and The Flintstones.

“‘Santa’” was originally made as a television special, and we had a sponsor lined up to pay for the whole thing. But all three networks rejected it,” he said.

“They wanted to know where the villain was in the story. Another asked me: ‘Can you do this live?’ Now why would I want to do it live if I’d already made a feature-length cartoon of it?”

“People criticize the cartoonists for the junk that is shown on Saturday mornings, but it’s the networks who insist on the violence and stupidity of those cartoons. They tell you what to draw, and if it doesn’t have action and villains, it won’t go. The whole animation industry is now tied up with those cartoons. It’s really unfortunate.”

Benedict is glad to be out of television now, although it took a long time to raise the money for “Santa,” his first independent film.

“I started writing it in 1965 and finished filming last year,” he said. “First I sold it to Warner Brothers, but they put it on the shelf. So I contacted another distributor, R & S Film Enterprises in Florida, and they helped me get the rights back and release it through their company.

“Since then, it’s done excellent business at weekend matinees. Most theaters are dark then, and the extra money is gravy to the people who run them. Soon there will be coloring books and a record album based on the film.

“I believe in movies,” Benedict said. “If I bomb, I’ve got no one to blame but myself. But a sampling of a million kids who paid to see my picture is better than a Nielsen rating which may not mean anything.”

Benedict’s next film will be a musical cartoon version of “Robin Hood.”

“The Disney studio is also doing one, but ours will be out first. Ours won’t be pablum. It will be full of wit and sophistication.

“Robin Hood will be an 18-year-old rock musician, and Maid Marian will be a groupie. Prince John will be an uptight type who hates rock. We hope to present it as a roadshow, with a traveling van carrying 16 speakers, which we can place at crucial points in the theater for the best stereophonic effect.”

[The Seattle Times, December 18, 1970, p.C4]

Monday, December 21, 2009

This Week on 42nd Street -- 1985



Here are the double and triple features that played the Deuce twenty-four years ago this week. Theaters are listed in east-to-west order.

North Side of the Street

Rialto: KRUSH GROOVE / POLICE ACADEMY

Victory: 3 adult hits

Lyric: JEWEL OF THE NILE / ROMANCING THE STONE

Times Square: BOGGY CREEK II / SWEET SIXTEEN / THE FINAL TERROR

Apollo: LOOSE SCREWS / DEATH RACE 2000

Selwyn: YOUNG SHERLOCK HOLMES / SILVER BULLET


South Side of the Street

Cine 42
Theater I: GUARDIAN OF HELL / CREATURE
Theater II: FAST & FILTHY FISTS / MASTER OF THE IRON ARENA / ASSIGNMENT TO KILL

Harris: ROCKY IV / FORCED VENGEANCE

Liberty: BARBARIAN QUEEN / THE MACK

Empire: DRAGON SHOWDOWN / DRAGON PRINCESS / KARATE WARRIORS

Sunday, December 20, 2009

One-Sheet of the Week: PLUCKED (1970)


LA MORTE HA FATTO L'UOVO / DEATH LAID AN EGG / A CURIOUS WAY TO LOVE (1967)

U.S. release in 1970 as PLUCKED

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Burbank? Saturn? No, it's the DeWitt Drive-In



Above and below are the covers for the first two DVDs in a certain company's "Saturn Drive-In" series. We'd rather not mention the name of this company, because we don't want to seem like we're supporting them or endorsing their products. When they apologize to our friends and do the right thing regarding THE NAME OF THE GAME IS KILL, they'll get back in our good graces. Until then, they can suck the Temple floors dry.


Anyway, you'll notice that the covers for these "Saturn Drive-In" discs look very similar to the "Burbank Drive-In" double feature disc the same company put out last year, featuring BETWEEN THE COVERS and SWINGING WIVES, two imported softcore sex films released in the U.S. by Raphael Nussbaum's Burbank International Pictures (originally International Producers Distributors). Also, please note that "Erie Boulevard East" is the supposed address for both the Saturn and Burbank Drive-In theatres.


When a section of the Erie Canal stretching from Dewitt, NY to downtown Syracuse was filled in sometime in the early 1900s, the result was Erie Boulevard. A stone's throw from the Eastwood section of Syracuse -- birthplace of Temple of Schlock -- Erie Boulevard East was the home of the DeWitt Drive-In theatre from its grand opening on July 8th 1950 (for a double bill of SUDAN and ARABIAN NIGHTS) until it ran its final double bill on September 22nd 1984 (THE JIGSAW MAN and THE LAST CHASE) and was torn down the following year to make way for a strip mall. The DeWitt Drive-In had a 950-car capacity and a screen that was the equivalent of an 8-story building. The concession stand not only boasted 125 feet of counterspace, but also a nursery room that was wired for sound and had a large picture window that faced the screen, so parents could change diapers or nurse their children and not miss the movie. I loved the DeWitt Drive-In, and was devastated when it met the wrecking ball after a terrific season in which it booked such exciting double bills as HOUSE BY THE CEMETERY w/ HORROR PLANET, DEATHSTALKER w/ THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER, SLEEPAWAY CAMP w/ 1990: THE BRONX WARRIORS, EXTERMINATOR 2 w/ THE YOUNG WARRIORS, a re-release of the ancient POOR WHITE TRASH co-billed with an old Sybil Danning import called RESORT GIRLS, and a Labor Day dusk-to-dawn show featuring CATHY'S CURSE, SWINGIN' SWAPPERS and SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS.


In memory of our favorite drive-in, which has been renamed twice in the past year (despite the fact that it was wiped off the map a quarter of a century ago) and is now being used to sell substandard DVDs from a company we again refuse to identify by name, below is a list of every July 8th program that ran at the mighty DeWitt Drive-In, from 1950 to 1984.


1950 -- SUDAN / ARABIAN KNIGHTS
1951 -- ON THE RIVIERA / SAND
1952 -- THE MOB / LADY FROM TEXAS
1953 -- SCARED STIFF / WARPATH
1954 -- CARNIVAL STORY / SECOND CHANCE
1955 -- THE RACER / LONG JOHN SILVER
1956 -- MY SISTER, EILEEN / THE BLACK KNIGHT
1957 -- SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS / WAR DRUMS
1958 -- THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV / THE HIGH COST OF LIVING
1959 -- THE TEN COMMANDMENTS
1960 -- Cartoons / THE UNFORGIVEN / PORK CHOP HILL / ALLIGATOR PEOPLE
1961 -- FIVE BOLD WOMEN / ANGEL BABY / 4 SKULLS OF JONATHAN DRAKE
1962 -- EL CID
1963 -- SPENCER'S MOUNTAIN / SON OF SAMSON
1964 -- FABULOUS MEXICO / THE CARPETBAGGERS / BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S
1965 -- WHAT'S NEW PUSSYCAT? / YOUNGBLOOD HAWKE
1966 -- 3 ON A COUCH / LORD JIM
1967 -- YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE / CHUCKA
1968 -- THE GREEN BERETS / ROUGH NIGHT IN JERICHO
1969 -- MACKENNA'S GOLD / THE WRECKING CREW
1970 -- BENEATH THE PLANET OF THE APES / THE BOSTON STRANGLER
1971 -- WILLARD / TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN
1972 -- THE DOBERMAN GANG / LET'S SCARE JESSICA TO DEATH
1973 -- LIVE AND LET DIE / THE MECHANIC
1974 -- THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTFOOT / THE OUTFIT
1975 -- BAMBI / SUPERDAD
1976 -- A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS / THE BORN LOSERS
1977 -- THE BOATNIKS / THE GNOME-MOBILE
1978 -- THE JUNGLE BOOK / THE SIGN OF ZORRO / NO DEPOSIT, NO RETURN
1979 -- THE DEER HUNTER / THE BRINK'S JOB
1980 -- BLOODEATERS / HORROR HOSPITAL / NIGHT OF THE DEMON
1981 -- S.O.B. / AIRPLANE
1982 -- TRON / BATTLE BEYOND THE STARS
1983 -- FLASHDANCE / AN OFFICER AND A GENTLEMAN
1984 -- THE CANNONBALL RUN II / FIREFOX